*listens to ur heart with a stethoscope* *takes ur temperature* *flashes a light in ur eyes* yep…. it’s exactly as i expected…. ur really cute….. *writes a prescription for lots of kisses*
the word “sabotage” is p much short for “fucking shit up with a wooden shoe”
fucking shit up with a wooden shoe
oh my god
well wooden shoe look at that
I’M FUCKING CRYING AT THAT PUN BE MY FRIEND PLEASE
When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.
A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States. (via africandogontheprairie)
I don’t know why people teach kids about "pimples" and "hormones" and "armpit hair," and refrain from telling them that if they don’t achieve their billion-dollar dreams at the age of twenty-one, there will still be much more to life. And that when you fail at your first job, it isn’t going to be the end of the world. And eventually you will realize that each person’s world is different and your only job is to figure out what your best world can be.
Hannah Hart (otherwise known as Genius)